Broke the silence
"After this, you will be the best producer in town" said the big boss in the first meeting. Those words are making my heart shivering. I know I am having my back to the wall now. This is going to be ten times worst than a soldier training.
Now I feel as if I am going back to my university life in the past - running around the campus, making calls in the office, preparing activity proposals, dealing with budget of some clubs, and at the same time catching deadlines of my course assignments. A lot of my course mates were even claimed that I have no life. Well, how do we define life?
Nonetheless, my university life was not only filled with works and studies. Weekly martial art training, Chinese Orchestra performances, watching movies with aikido gangs, playing tennis with house-mates, reading and painting kept the equilibrium of my university life.
Actually this wasn't my first plan. My first choice was to be an animator! Sent my resume but never get any reply after that. So I went for my second choice which is to be an editor. Again, I sat and waited patiently.
A ring broke the silence when I was disappointed by having no reply. As a jobless person, I have no reason to reject this opportunity even it wasn't listed as one of my choices. I know I will get crazy if I continue staying at home doing nothing!
After I verbally agree with the position offered, only calls from my past applications start vibrating my phone. I have no choice but to reject those opportunities that I had been waiting for.
This is how I get myself into the situation today. Can I survive by the end of September? Time will tell...
Now I feel as if I am going back to my university life in the past - running around the campus, making calls in the office, preparing activity proposals, dealing with budget of some clubs, and at the same time catching deadlines of my course assignments. A lot of my course mates were even claimed that I have no life. Well, how do we define life?
Nonetheless, my university life was not only filled with works and studies. Weekly martial art training, Chinese Orchestra performances, watching movies with aikido gangs, playing tennis with house-mates, reading and painting kept the equilibrium of my university life.
Actually this wasn't my first plan. My first choice was to be an animator! Sent my resume but never get any reply after that. So I went for my second choice which is to be an editor. Again, I sat and waited patiently.
A ring broke the silence when I was disappointed by having no reply. As a jobless person, I have no reason to reject this opportunity even it wasn't listed as one of my choices. I know I will get crazy if I continue staying at home doing nothing!
After I verbally agree with the position offered, only calls from my past applications start vibrating my phone. I have no choice but to reject those opportunities that I had been waiting for.
This is how I get myself into the situation today. Can I survive by the end of September? Time will tell...
Wednesday, May 25, 2005
Experience of Converting
Seldom go back to the university after my last trimester ended. Today I am required to go back there for some video converting. I was welcomed by a notice at the entry - "Registration Day for International Students". Nevertheless, the whole campus was too tranquil for the event. "Where is everyone?". Walking along the path, I could only see two figures from far. They looked as if they are looking for something. They walked towards me with a map holding on their hands. One of them asked: "May I know where is HB4 building?" I pointed to the building behind them. Wondering how long had they been spending to look for it? Poor them...
As expected, no one was in the lab. I called the lab technician but he was busy. As the result, I have to convert the video from beta tapes by myself. This was my first time using the machine and I have no idea what is the right way of doing it. At the same time, I was afraid that I will overwrite the original video by pressing the wrong buttons. Should I mention those are the final year projects of all students in year 05! It is so important that everyone will be cursing me days and nights if anything went wrong. Conversely, time is limited! I had no choice but to try my best with a short description through a phone call.
Finally, I did it! It was not as hard as I thought though.
Chia - Sincerely thanks for your truthful remarks on my animations. So far, you are the only one I know who is able to give me the exact comments that I need to know. It will be a great reminder for me to be more focus in the future.
It is great to know you and I appreciate that.
As expected, no one was in the lab. I called the lab technician but he was busy. As the result, I have to convert the video from beta tapes by myself. This was my first time using the machine and I have no idea what is the right way of doing it. At the same time, I was afraid that I will overwrite the original video by pressing the wrong buttons. Should I mention those are the final year projects of all students in year 05! It is so important that everyone will be cursing me days and nights if anything went wrong. Conversely, time is limited! I had no choice but to try my best with a short description through a phone call.
Finally, I did it! It was not as hard as I thought though.
Chia - Sincerely thanks for your truthful remarks on my animations. So far, you are the only one I know who is able to give me the exact comments that I need to know. It will be a great reminder for me to be more focus in the future.
It is great to know you and I appreciate that.
Monday, May 23, 2005
A warm and sunny day
I am surprised and impressed by the batiks, drawings, paintings and carvings from the handicrafts centre which is very close to the company which I am working with. This is my first visit and I am ashamed of not knowing such a great place until it is recommended by a friend who just shifted here from Johor not long ago. There are numerous of small wooden stalls with about three artists sharing each. The styles of the art works from each artist are unique and marvellous.
The first stall that I stepped in is a traditional batik stall. I strongly believe painting on a cloth is so much harder than painting on a piece of paper. It is almost an impossible task for some of us who have been drawing on the tablet with special features provided along with the painting software. Conversely, those batik artists are handling it very well. They are excellent in controlling the level of watery and colours mixing on the cloth. But what gained my respect most is their patient! They have quite a few works with extremely detail paintings. By looking at their work, I feel like doing one myself. They do have a corner for customers to paint their own batik. Just too bad I am having a meeting in the afternoon. If not for sure I will be sticking there for long.
The reality of portraits and the inventiveness of texture painting fascinated me. Nevertheless, the stunning painting that I love most is an illustration of the scene under the sea. Wanted to know who this brilliants artist is but the luck is not on my side. According to his partner, he went fishing. In any case, I promise myself this is not my last visit to his stall.
Besides, there is also an interesting carving artist who only focuses on carving the shape of human's nose. He has quite a big collection of human's noses which are carved from pieces of wood in different sizes and shapes. You will not want to know the digits on their price tag.
I'm just wondering, how many people in KL know about this place? I have been spending several hours there but hardly see other visitors. Should they have a better publicity? How do they survive by being an artist there? Their wonderful art works deserve to be appreciated by more people. Anyhow, I believe they are enjoying their daily routine with drawing, painting, fishing, playing music and chatting among the artists. This lifestyle was actually my secret dreamt when I was very young.
These artists remind me the beach boys at Pulau Redang. Boating, snorkelling diving and enjoying the nature of the earth are their job before the sunset. When come to the night, their world will be filled with music and dances. They don't seem to have any stress or vexation that most people have in town. I believe they will have a longer life if compare with people who sit in front of the computer in an air-conditioning office everyday.
(Well, again... I am telling myself, "we are all product of the choices we make.")
Very soon after the visit, a short meeting with Mr Moon followed by a looooong online meeting with fellow X-classmates for our animation showcase bought me back to the reality! Works are loading in again but I enjoy it! Maybe that is the reason why some of my friends described me as a workaholic. But I believe I am not. I am just trying my best to enjoy my responsibility.
Ps: Sincerely thank you... kc for today
The first stall that I stepped in is a traditional batik stall. I strongly believe painting on a cloth is so much harder than painting on a piece of paper. It is almost an impossible task for some of us who have been drawing on the tablet with special features provided along with the painting software. Conversely, those batik artists are handling it very well. They are excellent in controlling the level of watery and colours mixing on the cloth. But what gained my respect most is their patient! They have quite a few works with extremely detail paintings. By looking at their work, I feel like doing one myself. They do have a corner for customers to paint their own batik. Just too bad I am having a meeting in the afternoon. If not for sure I will be sticking there for long.
The reality of portraits and the inventiveness of texture painting fascinated me. Nevertheless, the stunning painting that I love most is an illustration of the scene under the sea. Wanted to know who this brilliants artist is but the luck is not on my side. According to his partner, he went fishing. In any case, I promise myself this is not my last visit to his stall.
Besides, there is also an interesting carving artist who only focuses on carving the shape of human's nose. He has quite a big collection of human's noses which are carved from pieces of wood in different sizes and shapes. You will not want to know the digits on their price tag.
I'm just wondering, how many people in KL know about this place? I have been spending several hours there but hardly see other visitors. Should they have a better publicity? How do they survive by being an artist there? Their wonderful art works deserve to be appreciated by more people. Anyhow, I believe they are enjoying their daily routine with drawing, painting, fishing, playing music and chatting among the artists. This lifestyle was actually my secret dreamt when I was very young.
These artists remind me the beach boys at Pulau Redang. Boating, snorkelling diving and enjoying the nature of the earth are their job before the sunset. When come to the night, their world will be filled with music and dances. They don't seem to have any stress or vexation that most people have in town. I believe they will have a longer life if compare with people who sit in front of the computer in an air-conditioning office everyday.
Very soon after the visit, a short meeting with Mr Moon followed by a looooong online meeting with fellow X-classmates for our animation showcase bought me back to the reality! Works are loading in again but I enjoy it! Maybe that is the reason why some of my friends described me as a workaholic. But I believe I am not. I am just trying my best to enjoy my responsibility.
Ps: Sincerely thank you... kc for today
Appreciation
"Time is flying too fast!" was a usual status on my yahoo messenger in the past four years. Nevertheless, I am glad to say that I never wasted any second of my time during these years. From an innocent girl who didn't even know how to create a folder on a PC desktop until who I am today is not only a product of the choices I had made, but it is also a result of the favouritism from people around me.
I have a very long list of new people in my heart that I really want to thanks them for their appearance in these four years. Some of them might already forget me but their appearance did cause some changes of my judgment towards certain situations in my life. And they are people who I respect very much.
Friends From MMU:
Li Leng, Syahnaz, Sze ying, Bernard, Li Ping, Jeje, Joanne, Nai Shin, Shom, Sook Fong, Wei Fen, Yani, Juili, Su Chee, Shi Yee, Phei Lee, Soo Min, Yee Sien, Yong Fong, Jia Shyan, Chee Kin, Feng, Chee Shiong, Jennifer, Xin Ni, Yeng Ching, Fong Mei, Fong Kwan, Shervie, Saw Hua, Pei Wan, Chin Chin, Pei Shi, Karen, Tze Ting, Pingky, Chea Wearn, Keat Voon, Kar Ching, Zaid, Nizam, Irma, Sharifah, Ching Ching, May, Kim, Omar, Fairuz, Kevin, Kester, Alroy, Darry, Alan, Alex, Ann, Debbie, A-Mee , Catherine, Waravara, Julius, Kicit, Darrel, Amnah, Sim Yee, Hui Li, Elssy, Matthias, Yussuf, Melisa, Edmund, Su Meng, Zang Xiao, See Wan, Mei Ling, Sheon Wei, Jing Wei, Ping Sing, Pai Shan, Soo Chern, Hui Cheat, Venesa, Valen, Yong Sim, George, Ah Pao, Angie, Siew Ling, Li Li, Pak Kin, Joshua, Nao Mi, Jobalyboy, Eja, Kasim, Thando, Adi, Spes, Sumi, Syark, Sven, Juin, Kok Siang, Ah Mah, JJ, Sadi, Shah, Zamzuri, Wen Hong, Anas, spirit_of_the_doll
Aikido Friends:
William, Lau Sinsei, Tee Sinsei, Dr Leong, Ng Sinsei,Yvonne, Ding, Jouly, Hong, Su Wern, Jia Yu, Denny, Timmyyap, Wei Loon, Pechin, Richard, Lay Yean, Mei Seen, Sim Yee, Wei Hun, Raymond, Zan Kai, Yee Seang, MJ, Jacky, Beng Keong , Kai Yik, Kai Sheng, Karlson, Jonathan, Adrina, Hong Yaw, Chia Heng, Weng Chiang, Larry, Han Fei, Meng Yee, Shu Yun
Friends from Chinese Orchestra:
Szu Zhen, Pei Wen, Ching Foong, Pandayeoh, Siew Yin, Soh
Friends from MMU Student Publication Board
Nicol, Aidil, Daniel, Bob, Yee Yong, Michelle, Hoe Tiang, Avijit, Jaideep, Chee Leong, Jin Shoon, June Yong, Keat, Keat Min, Hazera, Ija
Lecturers and tutors:
Neo Mai, Ken Neo, Diana, Elyna, Halim, Tajali, Najib, Tengku Sabri, Puan Seri, Roslinda, Azhar, Nazri, Mastura, Juhanita, Omar Salahuddin, Ayman, JiJeo, Ming Jin, Belinda, Deepak, Chui Mui, Kannan, Ms Khoo, Yap Sau Bin
Friends from internship training
Moon, Geoff, Peter, Rosa, Chia, Lyneette, Chin Chee , Chui Yi , YB, Wendy, Yong Wei, Pitt, Ng, Kelly , Wee, Quen, Kim San, Daniel, Annie, Felix, Quah, Yusof, Gine , Hanie, Dayang, Jin
production friends:
Lina Tan, Joyce, Angle, Mr Toh, Goh You Ping, Bernard Chauly, Zalee, Imbri, Tan, James Lee, Sherman, Yu-Hang, Jeremiah, Manomaniam
Generasi Digital:
Zona, Hann, William, Ming, Fitrine, Razlin, Afizal, Dinaa, Brandon, and the crews
Casts:
Josh, Ming Ming, Zi Shien, Cristopher, Intan, Isma
I have a very long list of new people in my heart that I really want to thanks them for their appearance in these four years. Some of them might already forget me but their appearance did cause some changes of my judgment towards certain situations in my life. And they are people who I respect very much.
Friends From MMU:
Li Leng, Syahnaz, Sze ying, Bernard, Li Ping, Jeje, Joanne, Nai Shin, Shom, Sook Fong, Wei Fen, Yani, Juili, Su Chee, Shi Yee, Phei Lee, Soo Min, Yee Sien, Yong Fong, Jia Shyan, Chee Kin, Feng, Chee Shiong, Jennifer, Xin Ni, Yeng Ching, Fong Mei, Fong Kwan, Shervie, Saw Hua, Pei Wan, Chin Chin, Pei Shi, Karen, Tze Ting, Pingky, Chea Wearn, Keat Voon, Kar Ching, Zaid, Nizam, Irma, Sharifah, Ching Ching, May, Kim, Omar, Fairuz, Kevin, Kester, Alroy, Darry, Alan, Alex, Ann, Debbie, A-Mee , Catherine, Waravara, Julius, Kicit, Darrel, Amnah, Sim Yee, Hui Li, Elssy, Matthias, Yussuf, Melisa, Edmund, Su Meng, Zang Xiao, See Wan, Mei Ling, Sheon Wei, Jing Wei, Ping Sing, Pai Shan, Soo Chern, Hui Cheat, Venesa, Valen, Yong Sim, George, Ah Pao, Angie, Siew Ling, Li Li, Pak Kin, Joshua, Nao Mi, Jobalyboy, Eja, Kasim, Thando, Adi, Spes, Sumi, Syark, Sven, Juin, Kok Siang, Ah Mah, JJ, Sadi, Shah, Zamzuri, Wen Hong, Anas, spirit_of_the_doll
Aikido Friends:
William, Lau Sinsei, Tee Sinsei, Dr Leong, Ng Sinsei,Yvonne, Ding, Jouly, Hong, Su Wern, Jia Yu, Denny, Timmyyap, Wei Loon, Pechin, Richard, Lay Yean, Mei Seen, Sim Yee, Wei Hun, Raymond, Zan Kai, Yee Seang, MJ, Jacky, Beng Keong , Kai Yik, Kai Sheng, Karlson, Jonathan, Adrina, Hong Yaw, Chia Heng, Weng Chiang, Larry, Han Fei, Meng Yee, Shu Yun
Friends from Chinese Orchestra:
Szu Zhen, Pei Wen, Ching Foong, Pandayeoh, Siew Yin, Soh
Friends from MMU Student Publication Board
Nicol, Aidil, Daniel, Bob, Yee Yong, Michelle, Hoe Tiang, Avijit, Jaideep, Chee Leong, Jin Shoon, June Yong, Keat, Keat Min, Hazera, Ija
Lecturers and tutors:
Neo Mai, Ken Neo, Diana, Elyna, Halim, Tajali, Najib, Tengku Sabri, Puan Seri, Roslinda, Azhar, Nazri, Mastura, Juhanita, Omar Salahuddin, Ayman, JiJeo, Ming Jin, Belinda, Deepak, Chui Mui, Kannan, Ms Khoo, Yap Sau Bin
Friends from internship training
Moon, Geoff, Peter, Rosa, Chia, Lyneette, Chin Chee , Chui Yi , YB, Wendy, Yong Wei, Pitt, Ng, Kelly , Wee, Quen, Kim San, Daniel, Annie, Felix, Quah, Yusof, Gine , Hanie, Dayang, Jin
production friends:
Lina Tan, Joyce, Angle, Mr Toh, Goh You Ping, Bernard Chauly, Zalee, Imbri, Tan, James Lee, Sherman, Yu-Hang, Jeremiah, Manomaniam
Generasi Digital:
Zona, Hann, William, Ming, Fitrine, Razlin, Afizal, Dinaa, Brandon, and the crews
Casts:
Josh, Ming Ming, Zi Shien, Cristopher, Intan, Isma
Sunday, May 22, 2005
Life is a series of choices
While combating for life, we must face important and difficult decisions with only limited knowledge and time in which to make these decisions. I see my life as a series of choices that must be made without knowing what the correct choice is. I must decide what standards to except and which ones to reject. The responsibility for my own actions, decisions and beliefs cause apprehension and stress. My time is even harder when I get myself into the situation of the coexistence of opposing feelings and believes towards the available choices. "Ambivalence" is feeling that been bothering me in the past few days.
I love being an animator far over being a crew in film production. With that belief, I have been focusing so much on everything about animation. The long list of bookmarks about animation related websites, books of 3D which enough for me to open a 3D books renting shop... I enjoy reading and exploring them. Sometime, I might even forget to eat when I was too concentrating on my 3D work on the computer.
Holding this belief for 2 years, I am now graduated from the major - "Film and Animation". While preparing my resume, I discovered that what I have been doing is so much opposing my previous beliefs. The lists that written on the session of my experience and representative skills are mainly as the production crews (Director, Assistant Director, Script Writer, Video Editor, Cinematographer, Cast Manager). I've been joining activities such as Generasi Digital organised by Vision New Media, Student Short Film organised by MDC and Summer Camp by MDC which are more related to Video Production. My only experiences which are directly related to 3D animations are my university projects and internship in Moon FX Sdn Bhd.
"What do I really want to be for in my life time?" I keep questing myself again and again lately. I know the answer is so important that it will change my life. I like the saying "we are all product of the choices we make". Sometime, I am confused with my "responsibility" and "interested". I enjoy doing everything which is handed to me and I always try my very best to complete it. Conversely, "interest" might not be the force behind the motivation but "responsibility" does. To have a meaningful life once must become fully aware of the true character of situation and bravely accept it. Very complicated philosophy I am having is it?
Yeah, I do have a clear answer for the question now. But what I'm going to do for my first job is no where close to my answer. It is a task that I never thinking of doing before this. I choice to take the risk because I believe it will give me a good opportunity to deal with more people in this field and improve my communicating skill. For those of you who know me better, you will know what kind of girl I am. On the other hand, most people who never work with me will always evaluate me from the outside of me which is really contrasting with my personality.
A theory that most people belief: soft spoken = quiet = scare = lack of confident = lack of ability
Conclusion: Soft spoken people = lack of capability
Of course, I never believe on that principle. A Chinese saying: "Never judge a person from his/her look." But now I begin to question myself "Appearance is more important or capability?" Appearance provides choices while capability makes the choice. Both are as important I suppose.
I love being an animator far over being a crew in film production. With that belief, I have been focusing so much on everything about animation. The long list of bookmarks about animation related websites, books of 3D which enough for me to open a 3D books renting shop... I enjoy reading and exploring them. Sometime, I might even forget to eat when I was too concentrating on my 3D work on the computer.
Holding this belief for 2 years, I am now graduated from the major - "Film and Animation". While preparing my resume, I discovered that what I have been doing is so much opposing my previous beliefs. The lists that written on the session of my experience and representative skills are mainly as the production crews (Director, Assistant Director, Script Writer, Video Editor, Cinematographer, Cast Manager). I've been joining activities such as Generasi Digital organised by Vision New Media, Student Short Film organised by MDC and Summer Camp by MDC which are more related to Video Production. My only experiences which are directly related to 3D animations are my university projects and internship in Moon FX Sdn Bhd.
"What do I really want to be for in my life time?" I keep questing myself again and again lately. I know the answer is so important that it will change my life. I like the saying "we are all product of the choices we make". Sometime, I am confused with my "responsibility" and "interested". I enjoy doing everything which is handed to me and I always try my very best to complete it. Conversely, "interest" might not be the force behind the motivation but "responsibility" does. To have a meaningful life once must become fully aware of the true character of situation and bravely accept it. Very complicated philosophy I am having is it?
Yeah, I do have a clear answer for the question now. But what I'm going to do for my first job is no where close to my answer. It is a task that I never thinking of doing before this. I choice to take the risk because I believe it will give me a good opportunity to deal with more people in this field and improve my communicating skill. For those of you who know me better, you will know what kind of girl I am. On the other hand, most people who never work with me will always evaluate me from the outside of me which is really contrasting with my personality.
A theory that most people belief: soft spoken = quiet = scare = lack of confident = lack of ability
Conclusion: Soft spoken people = lack of capability
Of course, I never believe on that principle. A Chinese saying: "Never judge a person from his/her look." But now I begin to question myself "Appearance is more important or capability?" Appearance provides choices while capability makes the choice. Both are as important I suppose.
